What now?

Sometimes I think I'm cursed because I 'm constantly trying to understand how things work. I would like to see the world; to meets its people and scale its mountains. Someday I hope to take 2-5 years and backpack through as many countries as I can, all the time trying to learn and understand the different cultures, at least as much as time allows. People have often accused me of having no roots because I have a habbit of moving frequently. The idea of "settling down" seems to be a socially constructed requirement of life here in America. I see nothing wrong with trying to experience as much of the world as possible.

Time

The clock keeps ticking. The semester flew by but i don't know why i'm surprised. It always seems to. Just when I start adjusting to my schedule it's already time to start studying for finals. Papers and posters and presentations. The story of my academic life.

The papers aren't so bad and in many cases I enjoy writing them. Actually, I enjoy doing the research but sometimes the physical composing aspect tends to get frustrating. I was reading over some journal entries that I had written when I moved to North Carolina back in 2005. It was somewhat disheartening. Shallow and cliche. Of the two composition books I had filled up in the past 3 years, I wrote very few passages worth keeping. To me, this is a good thing because it means that I've grown as a student and a human being. I try to view the world with an open mind and have become more willing to actually try and understand people, rather then making false judgements.

One of the best pieces of advice I was given, long before I came to UNCW was that people should never stop learning at any age. I don't know who said it and I've heard it repeated a few times since I've been here, but I don't think I got full gist until recently. I hope to continue taking classes in anything and everything (at least per semester) for as long as I possible can.

What I'm Researching

Since our class focuses on success, I have decided to research the negative effects of smoking and alcohol and how they impede future endeavors. My research will focus primarily on the addiction which can be caused by nicotine and how the elimination of these drugs with a combination of exercise and healthy dieting can change perception and lifestyle. Since I am a smoker who has in the past had habits of binge drinking, I will be using myself as a Guinea pig.

Besides the research I will be conducting, I am cutting out cigarettes and alcohol from my life and implementing a new exercise regiment consisting of daily routines including yoga, which I've always considered...not for me. I will do this for a period of two weeks. I feel some problems can only be solved by trying new things so it should be interesting to view the changes when the experiment is over.

As stated though, I do want to spend a good deal of the paper trying to understand the effects that drugs have on the brain. I also want to lightly touch on the health care system and how it effects smokers seeking health insurance in North Carolina. I feel that I should have no problems making the page requirement. My major concern currently is how I want to lay out my discussion and how much time I spend on each variable.

On Machiavelli

You know a book is great when you want to underline every line. I know we were supposed to have finished The Prince by now, but I haven't. I've been moving through it slowly. "For men are always adverse to enterprises where difficulties can be seen." (50) This line is one of the many that struck a cord with me. I believe that overcoming difficulties is one of the more important aspects of life. Of course it always easier to quit, but worse so than quitting, is never making an attempt. The context for which Machiavelli uses this line relates to town fortifications, but it would seem his philosophy has a different meaning for me, or maybe the same meaning, just in a different dimension.

One of the foundations in which we build our lives should be the experiences and ideas which ccome from overcoming the difficulties in our lives. This reminds me someone of The Art of Living in that we shouldn't be concerned for what we can't control, but we should be highly concerned for the modes in which we handle our reactions.

It is my opinion that we should, as a class spend an extra week discussing The Prince and just skip going over Walden all together.

Shades

I spent most of my childhood in a black and white world. I always knew the difference between right and wrong and I relied on this knowledge to help me navigate my way through the chaos that is life. However, something happened to me and I can't say for sure when or where it occurred. Today, I understand the world as consisting of infinant color.

I find myself extremely reserved these days, not for fear of what people may think of me, but simply because I learn so much more by keeping my mouth shut and listening to those around me. Just because I listen, doesn't mean I always have to follow. Many people are too stuck in their ways of thinking and they don't realize that there doesn't always have to be a right side and a wrong side. In some cases both sides can be right and in others, both sides can be wrong.

The world is full of those who judge solely on their perception of the world around them. This is a tragic mistake, yet easily fathomable. It's not enough to just think outside the box anymore, but rather all dimensions of it, inside and out, and maybe even the dimensions we can't see.

The Art of Living

The most important idea i took away from Epictetus is to control what can be controlled and not to worry about what can't be controlled. The idea is basic yet important. It isn't easy for everyone to live a well balanced life, especially in college. There's always something due, or somewhere to be and it doesn't seem likes there is ever any time for leisure. However, the Art of Living provides a wealth of information for people like me, who waste too much time trying to control a world that's out of control.

Reflections on MTA

I'd have to say that the beach is my favorite place. I'm not much for the city life and I get bored living in the country. The beach is the one place where I could spend the whole day, accomplish absolutely nothing, and not feel bored or disappointed about it.

I landed a summer job last year delivering beach equipment and linen to the condos and houses located at the local beaches. Though I don't actually get to spend much time on the beach when I'm working, I am able to steal views from some of the most extravagant pieces of real estate along the North Carolina coast. It's a fair trade. Day or night, rain or shine...it doesn't really matter to be. Staring across into the horizon, one is soberly aware of the scale of our being.